Dissidia Superbowl
by Love of Hatred
Summary: What do Cecil Harvey, Kefka Palazzo, Sephiroth and Squall Leonhart all have in common? They all like football! But the thing is, they're on different sides. When they gather to watch the Superbowl, chaos ensues. May become rather OOC.
1. Rushed

**A/N: Okay, this was supposed to come out on Superbowl Sunday 2010 and now...wow. ;-_- At first, school projects prevented me from being able to write a lot. When all that was done, I was going to write, but OLYMPICS! I _had_ to cheer for Alexandre Bilodeau, okay? THENNNN, I went on a trip to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam to visit family. This story was on my desktop, which was tens of thousands of miles away. By the time I came back, I FORGOT THIS EXISTED. D'oh! I originally planned for this to be an extremely long one-shot, but this was already so late, so why not put this in little chapters? So here you are. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dissidia Final Fantasy, or any Final Fantasy characters. Square Enix does. I also never watched more than 5 minutes of football, let alone every game in the Superbowl, so bear with me. Then again, they could be watching beach volleyball and this story would basically be the same. **

**Warning: This Superbowl is in the Final Fantasy universe, so, sadly, your favourite receiver isn't going to be in this. Sorry. As well, this story involves foul language. **

**Please R&R!**

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* * *

**"Rosebuuuudddd, can we stop now?" Tidus whined. The quartet had been traversing the Lunar Subterrane for the last few hours. It didn't really bother anyone, but Tidus was, well, Tidus. That speaks for itself.

Cloud cleared his throat, catching the other three's attention. They turned their heads to face him. "Guys, I believe he has a good reason for us to call it a day." Cecil raised an eyebrow (though know one could see his face under his dark armour).

"Pray tell what that reason is, Cloud."

Just as Cloud was going to either grunt in frustration, answer sarcastically sans emotion or complain about something, Firion had gasped. Now everyone turned to _him_. Cloud and Tidus grinned, Cecil was still clueless. "Guys," Firion begun frantically, "the-" He was cut off by Cecil, who had _just _realized what had excited everyone. "THE SUPERBOWL!" The quartet hooted and hollered and howled like the guys that they were in anticipation for the football event that was going on as they spoke…or whatever they were doing.

"We gotta find some way to see it!" Tidus declared and he punched the air. "I stand corrected," Cecil whispered to Cloud, "Tidus _does_ care about something other than blitz ball!"

* * *

Squall brushed off his shoulder all nonchalant as he made quick work of a lowly Manikin, specifically Transient Lion. Heh, he won in a battle against himself. He leaned against the wall of the Old Chaos Shrine and closed his eyes. The day had been repetitive. Walk, kill something, think of Rinoa, repeat. Goodness gracious, what he would do for a little action.

**RRRRING RING!**

Squall's eyes opened.

"Hello?" He said in a bored tone into his cell phone.

"Leonhart, what are you doing?" It was Cloud.

"Do you have to ask?"

Cloud grunted. "Whatever. Look, we're taking a break from the crystal search. Now, I'm not one to go and have 'fun', but this is different. So wanna come with us or what?"

Squall blinked. "Come with you guys and what?"

"Think"

"…Oh…that's right, the football game…You're interested in sports?"

"Why wouldn't I? Yelling at the quarterbacks or playing in teams takes my mind off my loneliness and anguish," Cloud replied, obviously mocking how everyone said he was emo, "…but that's unimportant. And this is more than just a football game. It's the Superbowl."

Squall groaned, "I had forgotten…Yeah, I'm coming. Meet you at the Lunar Subterrane. Make sure you guys find some way to see it."

Aaaannnd Squall returns to the monotone of his life while he waits for a water soccer player, a shiny knight, Luke Skywalker's copy and some emo mercenary to find a TV set in the middle of nowhere,

* * *

"AW SHIT, HE GOT HIS SHOULDER KNOCKED OUT!"

"CRAP! NOW WE GOT NO GUY TO REPLACE HIM!"

"What about me?"

"YEAH, GO GET 'EM ESPER! WOOF WOOF WOOF!"

"NOW A GIRL IS IN?"

"LIVE WITH IT" *throws water at fellow team mate*

"MAN, WE GONNA LOSE!"

"SHUT UP, SHE MIGHT BE ABLE TO PLAY."

"HUT HUT!"

"RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRR"

"I GOT THE PIGSKIN!"

And Terra ran right into her first major football game.

* * *

Cloud put away his phone. Cecil looked to him. "Is Squall coming?" Cecil inquired. The blond soldier nodded. Cecil grinned. "I am sure that we all could use a break, and what better way to relax than watching sports?" Tidus slapped his friend on the back and said, "Cecil, dude…What about _playing _sports?"

"Wait…guys…?"

"Yes, Cloud?" Firion said.

"I hate to be a party pooper, but we're in the middle of nowhere and…WE DON'T HAVE A *naughty word*-ING T.V!" Cloud was clearly disappointed. Tidus put his hands up in front of him as if trying to tell someone to calm it. Which he was. "Whoa there, Mr. Strife."

"'Cept he's right."

"Oh, hi Squall." Firion greeted.

"YEAH, SEE? SOMEONE HERE HAS A BRAIN!" Cloud was still mad.

"Yes, yes I do," Squall said very Phineas and Ferb-like and nodding his head very cute-like.

Cecil and Firion, the more level-headed men of the group-at the moment-discussed the matters quietly, while everyone else lost their mind.

"He is correct, Firion," Cecil admitted, "and we likely missed much of the games."

"I know," Firion began, "but while we don't have a TV right now, we may be able to find one, you know? You have connections with the warriors of Chaos, right?"

Cecil nodded. "Yes, my own brothers is sided with Chaos. He sometimes tells me of the trouble his side gets in."

"And do you know if they have a-" Firion was abruptly interrupted by Cecil. "Yes! They do!"

"_OH YEAHHHHH!_" Firion screamed, while doing some sort of victory dance a lot of nudity, laughing and baseball bats. That obviously caught the people's eyes and they very quickly backed away slowly. Don't ask how that works. Cecil joined in on the creepy dance and chanted, "KEFKA'S GOT A TV! KEFKA'S GOT ONE!"


	2. Nothing Makes Sense

**A/N: My excuse this time? Procrastination. In other words, just felt lazy. Many apologies. Well, now it's here! Please enjoy. When this is fic is completely finished, and enough people want one, I'll make a sequel. All research of the characters of the games I haven't played was with Final Fantasy Wikia and other fanfictions. I have only played the beginnings of Final Fantasy II and XII, the Destiny Odysseys of Dissidia, but all of Crisis Core and some Final Fantasy Fables game. ^_^;**

**Disclaimer: I'm not Square Enix or the founders of the Superbowl. Written for non-commercial reasons. This is just for the fun of me and my readers. **

**Warning: Foul language. I also don't have a beta reader.**

* * *

"Hee hee hee hee HEEE!" That laugh. It was like a flashing neon sign. Once you heard it, you know you've arrived at Kefka Palazzo's lair.

"Well," Squall announced in his signature monotone, "I guess this is where the clown's got his TV parked." Tidus let out a great whoop. "Man, I hope we didn't miss the Zanarkand vs. Palamecia game," he said, grinning like a drunk hyena.

"Tidus…Palamecia doesn't _have_ a football team."

"SURE THEY DO!" Tidus exclaimed, giving his friend a slap on the back-a soft one. Firion continued to speak. "What about Zanarkand? I'm pretty sure they're all blitz ball." Another slap on the back. "Are not!"

Too low for Firion to hear, Tidus mumbled something about not existing.

"TAKE THAT PALAMECIA! ZANARKAND FOR THE WIN!" the group heard a gruff voice scream from inside the TV room.

Tidus' hyena grin came back on. "See, Firion? I was right. They _do_ have football team and-waitaminute. AW SHI-!" Tidus groaned. Cecil cocked his head to the side. "What's the matter?" The dirty-blond sports buff threw his arms at the TV room's entrance. "Why does my DAD gotta be here?"

"Why shouldn't he?" Cecil challenged. Before Tidus could answer, Cecil went on, saying something about genetics or something. That set Tidus off. "Shut the *censored* up!" he screamed, then he went on to rant about how much Jecht sucked and basically telling the King of Baron off. Cecil, getting pissed at Tidus for getting pissed at him, stabbed his blade at him. "WHY YOU BAST-" Tidus was cut off by Squall, who smacked both him and Cecil in the face. "Both of you, shut the hell up and just go in the damn room." Tidus grumbled some not-so-nice stuff, but followed Squall in anyways.

* * *

The room was thick with the scent of alcohol.

Cecil was the first to sit down. Seated beside him was Sephiroth, who inched to the other side the second the paladin sat down. Squall copied Cecil, sitting down beside Kefka, who reacted the same way as Sephiroth did.

Lips turned up in disgust, Sephiroth sneered, "What's Queen Cecilia want to do with the Superbowl?"

Cecil kept calm. He said nothing to Sephiroth, he didn't even look away from the screen. It was as if he hadn't even heard him.

Tidus jumped onto a cushy armchair labelled 'Theodor's Chair SIT ON IT AND DIE!". The energetic blond never was one to read warning signs. Cecil began to stop him, but realized that it didn't really matter to him. Despite his kind and accepting exterior, the knight was deeply annoyed by Tidus. He liked him enough that he didn't want him gone, but…

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash followed by groans, screams and laughs.

"Nice going Kuja," Kefka said.

The genome pouted.

Kuja lay crumpled on the floor, in a mess of chocobo wings and beer. The so-called 'beautiful' man was now wet and sticky and definitely in an embarrassing position. If you know what I mean.

"I thought they called you graceful," said Sephiroth.

Kuja got up from the ground, eyes ablaze with anger. "_Everyone _trips _sometimes_. Even one as lovely as I."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at that. "Really?" he questioned, pushing the genome past his limits, "_I've_ never tripped before."

Now it was Cloud's turn to be angry. The mercenary ran up to the silver-haired ex-SOLDIER with the intention of strangling him. To death.

"So you DID intend kill Aeris! All this time I thought you just tripped!" Cloud growled.

Sephiroth shook off Cloud as if he was just some annoying mosquito.

"Aeri_th," _he said, correcting his pronunciation, "and wasn't it kind of obvious? Are you really so un-evolved that you …Just, no."

Cloud's jaw and fist clenched . He threw a punch at Sephiroth. The action was in vain. Quicker than lightning, Project S raised Masamune to shield himself. Cloud cried out in pain, clutching his hand, trying to stop the bleeding.

"MORE CHOCOBO WINGS!" a deep voice announced.

Everyone looked to the source of the voice. He was very tall and muscular. Topping his head short, light brown hair streaked with silver. His eyes were a deep shade of violet and there was a grin upon his sweet face.

Confusion was plain on the Cosmos Warriors' faces. They'd never seen this guy before, and yet, the Chaos Warriors recognized him. The man must've had some sort of relation to them, if he could just walk in like he owned the place. Firion noticed how Cecil did not share his look of confusion. Curious…

Tidus spoke up. "Who the heck are you?" he asked, not thinking before he said.

The man fixed his gaze on him. "You're Jecht's son." he stated, not answering his question. He took a step toward him. He continued toward him and walked between Sephiroth and Cloud, pushing the two back onto their seats and thus ending their silly fight.

"Get. Off. My. CHAIR."

Tidus gulped many times and managed to choke out, "Yessir." He stood up and looked for another seat. _I guess he's Theodor, _he thought. Tidus could have sworn he heard his father chuckle and call him a 'pushover' and 'baby'. He didn't bother to show any reaction and seated himself on an empty ebony loveseat without a word.

When he averted his attention back to the game, Tidus couldn't believe his eyes. First, his eyes grew twice it's normal size, and then shrank to half it's normal size as he squinted to get a better look.

"Is…" Tidus started.

"That…" continued Firion.

"TERRA?" finished the always-calm Squall.

"I believe it is…" Cecil mumbled, disbelief colouring on his voice.

Sure enough, the slim she-Esper was running across the massive, green field. Her uniform showed she was playing for Palemecia. Oh the irony. She seemed to be struggling. A team mate tossed the ball at her. She jumped for it, appearing very graceful. However, when it hit her hands, she fumbled and cried out in pain from the force of the throw. Oddly enough, her team mates didn't seem to be angry at her. One even helped her up and pushed her back into the game before tackling the Zanarkand player with the ball.

Everyone's mouths were flopped open. Except for Kefka, who was laughing so hard, Theodor was worried he might cough up a lung. However, he didn't, and did eventually stop laughing.

" Why is she playing…?" Squall wondered.

Firion shrugged. "You tell me, buddy, you tell me…"

Cecil stared at the screen with eyes full of pity, shaking his head. "Seems like she's having a hard time, poor girl. But she has a lot of help, thankfully."

Jecht scoffed. "Ah, stop pitying her Queen Cecilia," he laughed, adopting Sephiroth's cruel nickname for Cecil, "Esper's going to ruin the game for them. I'm just happy that she isn't for Zanarkand, even though this isn't the Zanarkand I know."

The man who was supposed to be Theodor coughed. "First of all, Terra will do fine," he snapped, "and secondly, Cecilia was our mother's name. Sheesh."

Tidus blinked. "Did you say _our_ mother?"

"Yes…" Theodor assured , speaking slowly. He did not understand Tidus' feelings of confusion toward everything.

Kuja-who had magically changed into clean clothes and now sat beside Tidus on the loveseat-rolled his eyes and said in an irritating and overall mocking voice, "Really? _Really?_ All this time you didn't know he and Cecil were brothers? How sad."

Naturally, Jecht was there to rub a little salt on the wound. "And here I thought my little boy was growing a brain. Never been more wrong."

"Cecil never told me he wasn't an only child!" Tidus protested.

Cecil sipped a Budweiser and wiped his mouth before telling Tidus, "Actually, I did. Many times. You just never listen."

Tidus wanted to strangle the everyone and demand information from them, but he held back.

Not a good day for him, so far.

**

* * *

A/N: This thing is jumping all over the place. Sorry about that. I also apologize for all the random word emphasises (caps, italics etc…) and weird writing style, I though it'd suit the nature of the story. XD **

**Don't forget, R&R~**


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